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Unbeknownst to me, I have been a communist all along.

Don’t get me started on breakfast (or #FirstMeal, if you will). It is a holy, delicious, ritual for me and even more of a treat when it gets delivered in a greasy bag through my car window to enjoy on my commute to work. So why am I so behind on the times when all along there’s been this cold war waging between McD’s and Taco Bell?

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It’s a real battlefield out there. A battlefield where only one will live to see the light of lunch. A battlefield where tacos are wrapped in waffles and pressed into Frisbees, hurled at an army of McMuffins, and OMG, [cue hash brown spit take] am I a defector? Have I turned a blind eye to a regime, or have I just been brainwashed like the rest of us? Just type in “Breakfast Wars” and Google turns up pages of headlines declaring “new weapons” and “victories” from last year between the two fast-food chains, and now, with the dawn of the BISCUIT TACO it seems like TB has brought the big guns.

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Remember when I said “big guns”? This is straight up Nagasaki-style.